Lately I have had both fellow staff members and students tell me they feel 'far' busier than they have ever been. I have also been feeling that I have little time for rest and rejuvenation.
Which begs the question - what are we so busy with?
I know that for myself, I am very busy with 'keeping up' both professionally and personally. This looks a lot like busy work - professional reading, cleaning, organising, and sitting in front of a computer. What it does not look like is time with family, cuddling with my dog, reading for pleasure, going for a walk, or sleeping/resting. Truly ... if I do take a break, I feel guilty because I'm not getting work done. I hate this feeling! I've always been the person who likes to get up hours before everyone else in the house (and quite frankly - the neighbourhood) so I can get a head start ... what I am starting to ask myself is WHY?
I see now that is because I want to be the best ... at everything ... is it just me or don't we all? I want to be the best mother I can be, best wife I can be, best teacher I can be, best colleague I can be, best dog owner I can be, best housekeeper I can be, in short ... the best I can be. Does this really mean I have to be busy ALL THE TIME? My heart generally says yes, but my mind is starting to be able to acknowledge that this is unrealistic ... in fact, I've started to get to the place where this makes me mad at myself. I know that to be the best I can be, I must take care of myself as well - which means getting sleep, being with my family, snuggling with my dog, taking time for those things that recharge me.
I need to learn to say NO to the unrealistic demands I have placed on myself and allow myself to be less busy - less perfect (even though I don't feel I've ever come close). I'm not saying that I will no longer want to be 'the best' but maybe if I find the ability to stop expecting perfection, I'll actually become a better version of me :)
Which begs the question - what are we so busy with?
I know that for myself, I am very busy with 'keeping up' both professionally and personally. This looks a lot like busy work - professional reading, cleaning, organising, and sitting in front of a computer. What it does not look like is time with family, cuddling with my dog, reading for pleasure, going for a walk, or sleeping/resting. Truly ... if I do take a break, I feel guilty because I'm not getting work done. I hate this feeling! I've always been the person who likes to get up hours before everyone else in the house (and quite frankly - the neighbourhood) so I can get a head start ... what I am starting to ask myself is WHY?
I see now that is because I want to be the best ... at everything ... is it just me or don't we all? I want to be the best mother I can be, best wife I can be, best teacher I can be, best colleague I can be, best dog owner I can be, best housekeeper I can be, in short ... the best I can be. Does this really mean I have to be busy ALL THE TIME? My heart generally says yes, but my mind is starting to be able to acknowledge that this is unrealistic ... in fact, I've started to get to the place where this makes me mad at myself. I know that to be the best I can be, I must take care of myself as well - which means getting sleep, being with my family, snuggling with my dog, taking time for those things that recharge me.
I need to learn to say NO to the unrealistic demands I have placed on myself and allow myself to be less busy - less perfect (even though I don't feel I've ever come close). I'm not saying that I will no longer want to be 'the best' but maybe if I find the ability to stop expecting perfection, I'll actually become a better version of me :)